As a perfectionist and a people-pleaser, I understand the struggle of trying to be better.
Sometimes you’re doing fine. And then someone mentions something you aren’t doing. Add that to the stress pile. Or, other times, you’re not doing so hot and get upset with yourself and find a way to buckle down and work yourself harder. Usually ending in some burnout issues, depression, and/or anxiety.
Fortunately, this is NOT how life is supposed to be.
Yes, we should be trying to improve and grow and do our best, but we are never going to be able to do it all. It seems like we should be. It seems like you have to be doing the perfectly right thing for everyone at all. times. It seems like maybe we could get it if we just…*fill in the blank*
Let me tell you the truth: you probably won’t. And even if you do, it’s not going to be enough.
You’re human, I’m human, we’re all human and a complete mess. There’s no way for us to be perfect. The more I learn the more I realize what I DON’T know and what I can’t do. This either triggers the want to do more or some form of unhealthy stress such as depression-anxiety. I’m fairly certain I’m not the only one.
And hey, it’s that time of year when we all start to get lazy with our resolutions.
Three weeks into the new year seems to be about when I say, “eh, I’ve done good so far.” and then in February I get upset with myself for not keeping up. (Darn this leg fat above my knees) There’s so many things I had planned (finishing school quickly, working out through the year again, cooking more…blah blah blah) and I’m just not getting it done.
On top of that, I’ve been having trouble sleeping, getting grouchy with my family, and wasting time online!
I HAVE to get myself together! I HAVE to change this! I HAVE to stop this! I HAVE to do that! I HAVE to fix my schedule! I HAVE to…
Just stop it. Why do you think you NEED to be doing everything and being perfect?
Well, the Bible says to be more like Jesus…
You know what Jesus says?
“Jesus answered, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.”
Very lengthy and challenging, huh? That’s what I thought. Yes, you should be reading your Bible, going to church, encouraging others, sacrificing for others, and walking away from sins, but that’s not the point.
The point is your relationship with Jesus (#1) and your relationship with others (#2).
You’re not going to do it right the first time, the tenth time, or the last time. You’re probably always going to screw something up, as trivial or as major as it is. No, don’t be lazy. Just believe in Jesus and the plan God has. Believe that Jesus loves you no matter how big of a mistake you make or how big of a mistake you feel you are.
None of us is enough for God’s standard…
but God has made sure that he could be with us. He loved us even when we had no idea that he existed, and so he sent Jesus to do what we could not do. He loved when we were indifferent. He was patient when we were impatient. He sacrificed when we were selfish. He humbled himself when we were prideful.
And that’s probably the biggest thing: our pride.
We have these silly “reputations” that are just a way to get the perks of being a “good person”. Seriously? NONE of us is good. We may want to do good and be good, but we aren’t. If we want to measure someone up by something maybe it should be humility and genuineness. It takes a very humble and strong person to admit that they are not everything they should be.
I know I’m not good at admitting that. (And yes, it is easier for me to write about it here than face my family or friends and say “I’m sorry for that”)
My reputation has become my life. It’s bondage. It’s perfectionism and people-pleasing. It’s a form of hell. I think I have to earn any love I’ve been given, but in reality I’ve already got it. What I really need to do is let go of myself and my ideas and my pride so that God can give me his love, his peace, and his truth.
I think that when that happens, that’s when it happens. Whatever “it” is.
God loves you.
No matter how many foolish mistakes you make.
God loves you and he wants you.
We just have to be humble enough to let him love us.
Let God love you.
“So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.”
Thanks for reading! 🙂